Progeny (8/9)
by Zephathah

Disclaimers and such in part 1.
Do not archive at Gossamer.
Missing chapters available at http://zephathah.tripod.com/

________________________________
Chapter 8
________________________________

The tap-tap-tap of Scully's keyboard was driving Mulder crazy.  It was
like Chinese water torture; each keystroke in itself wasn't offensive,
but their insistent and unending rat-a-tat-tat was pushing him over
the edge.  He twirled a pencil in his fingers and tried to concentrate
on the screen in front of him.

What could she possibly be doing, anyway?  They'd been back at work
for a week, all outstanding paperwork had been finished and delivered,
and a new case had yet to appear.  Mulder had to work at finding
enough tasks to keep him occupied - mostly that consisted of surfing
the Web or throwing pencils at the ceiling - but Scully seemed to have
no problems filling her time.

He clenched his fist around the pencil to still its movements and
looked across the office to where Scully was industriously typing away
on her laptop.  She was wearing her serious 'I'm working' face, so
instead of attempting to distract her with some outlandish theory, he
took the opportunity to study his partner.

For the first couple days back at the office, he'd studiously *not*
watched her, feeling he should be circumspect, now that they were...
'intimate.'  Every time he'd caught himself staring at her, he'd
forced himself to turn away.  But then he realized there was no need
to punish himself that way.  Hadn't he always relaxed and refreshed
his eyes by letting them rest on her for some length of time?
Wouldn't stopping such behavior be the more suspicious option, at this
point?

Not that they were going out of their way to hide anything.  But it
wouldn't be professional to bring their personal lives to the office.
Both Mulder and Scully valued the longstanding professional
relationship they'd always maintained.  Of course, that tended to be
closer than most other partners he knew...  And their new intimacy had
become an extension of the intense closeness and easy camaraderie that
marked their working relationship.

The ringing of the office phone pulled him from his contemplation of
the way Scully's eyelashes fluttered as she moved her eyes from her
screen to the notes beside her computer and back again.  He brought
his attention back to the desk in front of him and picked up the
phone.

"Mulder."  

Scully stopped what she'd been doing to follow Mulder's half of the
exchange.  There wasn't much to hear, though.  He grunted into the
receiver a couple times and hung up after saying, "Sure thing."

He immediately stood up and grabbed his suit jacket from the back of
the chair.  "Skinner wants to see us.  A new case."

"Good.  I've had enough of these old lab reports."  Scully saved her
file and rose to follow him from the office.  "Anything new on the
Playboy website today?"

Mulder affected a pained expression.  "Scully, you wound me.  I was
conducting research."

"Is that what you call it?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.  "I'll be
interested to hear the results of your work."

"Ah, but it would be so much more fun to show you."  He leered at her
suggestively.

"I look forward to your presentation, Agent Mulder," she replied,
smirking as she swept by him and out the office door.

Was it just him, or did her hips have a little more sway in them than
usual?  He held himself in check and took two deep breaths before
following her.

He had wondered if their debates and flirtations would lose their
edge, but they had merely gained an added dimension since they'd
started sleeping together.  In the privacy of their apartments, things
quickly turned outrageous.  At the Hoover Building they kept it more
reasonable.  Or tried to, at any rate; they didn't need to add any
grist to the rumor mill.

They had always been the recipients of more than their fair share of
speculative glances.  Their exile in the basement, the nature of their
cases, Mulder's need to buck the system for his quest, for his
partner, and Scully's need to do the same in return for her partner,
had all conspired to provide them with a certain amount of isolation
among their peers.  Other agents might respect them or ridicule them,
but no one got close - and everyone wondered.

As they left the basement to meet with the AD on the fifth floor,
observers might have noted an unusual closeness in the two agents.
But everyone who was anyone knew this pair was unusual in a number of
ways, the least of which being their intense partnership.

Scully and Mulder bantered lightly as they paced towards Skinner's
office, wondering what sort of case he had for them, both of them
hoping it had nothing to do with dead children.  Maybe a nice swamp
monster or mysterious lights in the sky.

****

Kimberly hung up the phone and caught at their attention.  "The
Assistant Director will see you now."

They stood and instinctively smoothed their suits, then walked in step
through Skinner's office door.  The AD was not sitting behind his
desk.  Instead, he stood by the window and appeared to barely notice
their entrance.

Mulder and Scully took their seats a little uncertainly, wondering at
Skinner's behavior.  After a long silence, he turned to them and
asked, "Agent Mulder, how are you healing?"

"Uh, fine, sir," Mulder replied, lifting his arm and wiggling it to
show its mobility.  Skinner stared at them, obviously preoccupied with
something that was bothering him.

Abruptly he walked behind his desk and sat heavily in his chair,
rolling it forward as he picked up an open folder that lay on his
desk.  "I have a case for you," he said without looking at them.  He
shuffled through the contents of the file.  "Three children are
missing from their homes in Duluth, Minnesota.  No evidence has been
indicating a forced entry, no messages from any kidnappers have
surfaced. Nearby residents reported bright lights on the nights the
children disappeared."

Now he raised his head to measure their reactions.  Scully managed not
to flinch, and Mulder's eyes merely hardened as he returned Skinner's
stare.

"You're on a flight out of National at 9:20 tomorrow morning."  The AD
stood and offered the file to his agents.  Scully also stood, and she
accepted the file with a controlled nod.  Mulder, however, remained
seated, eyes focused on nothing, breathing calmly.

"Agent Mulder?  Is something wrong?"

The agent trained his eyes on his boss and said, "The flight will have
to be later.  I have something I need to take care of before we
leave."

Scully glanced at her partner in surprise.  Her eyebrow lifted in
silent question, but Mulder was looking fixedly at the AD.

Skinner was about to ask him what the hell was more important than
three missing children, but the look in Mulder's eye made him keep his
mouth shut instead.  He felt bad enough about assigning this case to
him.  He would trust Mulder's reasons without hearing them.

So instead of objecting, Skinner nodded and said, "A few hours won't
make much difference."

Having received the AD's approval, Mulder rose from his seat and
waited for Scully to precede him out of the office.  She gave him a
look that told him she'd go along for now, but he damn well better
explain himself when they were alone.

His reply was a tight smile, and together they left the office to
descend once more into the depths of the basement.

But when they got to the office, Mulder began gathering his coat and
briefcase without speaking. Scully leaned against the doorjamb with
arms folded, growing increasingly exasperated as Mulder ignored her.

"Mulder!"

He paused in the midst of placing another file in his briefcase.

"Scully?"  His tone was intentionally bland.  He wasn't being
sarcastic or playing innocent, which told her he wasn't sure how she
would react to whatever he had to say.

Scully dropped her arms to her side and crossed the few steps to his
desk.  "Mulder, what do you have to do tomorrow morning that's so
important?  I'm surprised you didn't try to get us out on a flight
this afternoon."

Mulder resumed his motions as he answered her, keeping his voice
carefully even.  "Actually, Scully, I thought you might like to see
your mother before we left town."

"You postponed our flight so I could visit my *mother*?"  Exasperation
was growing into anger.

Mulder tried to shrug nonchalantly, but the tension in his shoulders
betrayed him.  He stopped what he'd been doing to look at her.  "I
think it's important that you talk to your mother about-"  He looked
away from her and took a quick breath.  "-about what's happened before
we fly halfway across the country to investigate more missing, and
possible murdered, children."

"There's no indication these children have been killed," Scully
replied, falling back on her investigative role.

"If they had been kidnapped with any intention of being returned, the
parents would have heard something by now.  You know that as well as I
do.  Unless you'd like to propose a more *extreme* theory - perhaps
involving alien abduction?"  His voice rose in frustration.  Why did
she always have to throw up a brick wall?  "And you're changing the
subject.  You need to talk to your mother."

"My mother is fine."

"For your sake, not hers."

"I appreciate your concern," she said, trying to keep her irritation
in check.  "But I think I can handle my relationship with my mother
without your advice."

"You've been avoiding her for the past two weeks.  You return her
calls when you know she'll be out.  You need to deal with this."

The steel in her voice echoed the hardness in her eyes.  "I'll thank
you to let me decide what it is I need."

Now it was Scully who gathered her belongings and shrugged into her
coat.

Mulder tried to regroup.  "Scully," he said, trying to be gentle.
"I'm concerned how this case is going to affect you."

Scully stopped abruptly and turned a cold glare in Mulder's direction.
"Are you questioning my abilities to perform in the field, Agent
Mulder?" she asked stiffly.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.  "I'm just trying to
look after you."

If possible, Scully's gaze dropped a few more degrees.  "I can take
care of myself," she told him in a clipped, angry voice.  She strode
quickly out of the office without looking back.

********

Mulder rested his forehead against her apartment door and knocked
again.  He had a feeling she wouldn't appreciate his using his key in
this instance.  His knuckles rapped insistently against the wood.
"Scully?  Come on, Scully.  Open the door."

He stumbled over the threshold as the door opened beneath his weight.
He caught himself and regained his balance, but she was already
walking away from him, not bothering with any greeting.

He closed the door behind him and slipped off his coat before
following.  She was in the kitchen, tearing lettuce for a salad with
precise movements.  Her face was a mask, but Mulder could read the
small signs of conflict and tension within her.  He moved behind her
and began to gently massage her shoulders and neck.  She ignored him.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.  "I overstepped my bounds."  His hands
smoothed the cloth over her arms and turned her to face him.  She
allowed the direction of his hands and looked up to see his hazel eyes
filled with a familiar mix of sadness, concern, and love.

How long had she been seeing that particular expression on his face?
Many years, now.  Since her abduction, at least.  But only in the past
few years had she been able to identify the emotions he so baldly
displayed.  Love.  She'd seen the love change, as their partnership
grew in strength.  Sometimes - most of the time - his over-
protectiveness chafed her, but her anger was no match for the honest
concern in his eyes as he watched her, gauging her mood and her
reaction to him.

"Scully, please.  You can't keep denying what's happened."

She stiffened at his words, her anger flaring again.

She spoke sharply as her glare drilled into him.  "Just what am I
denying, Mulder?  That I lost another child?  That I let him die?
That I'll never raise any of my own?  I *know* that, Mulder.  I know
all those things.  I've accepted it.  I don't flinch every time I see
a mother and her child.  I don't cry myself to sleep every night when
we're on another case involving children.  I'm not going to spend the
next twenty-five years wasting my life on a quest, searching for the
children I'll never have."  <Like you've done for Samantha.>  The
words remained unspoken, but they both heard them resounding in their
heads.

Mulder released her, eyes wide with shock.  The surprised hurt was
written clearly across his face.

Scully was astonished by her own cruelty and felt sickened by what
she'd said.  How could she have used those words against him?  "Oh
God, Mulder, I didn't mean that."

He backed away from her, trying to maintain control.

"Is that how you think of me?" he asked in a strangled whisper.

"Mulder, no."  She reached out to him, grasping his wrists before he
could pull away.  "Listen to me, Mulder.  I don't think you've wasted
your life.  I didn't mean it that way."

But he was shaking his head, refusing to look at her.

"Mulder!" she barked.  His eyes snapped to her face at the harsh
sound.  She spoke intently, needing him to believe her.  "I was angry
at you.  I spoke without thinking."  He appeared to be listening to
her, and, encouraged, she continued.  "I was angry, Mulder, because
you keep forcing me to face something I just want to go away.  Can you
understand that?  I don't want to lie in bed agonizing over Emily and
Laurel and Justin."  Tears began to fall silently down her cheeks.  "I
want my life to be my own, Mulder."

Mulder slowly brought up a thumb to wipe gently at the wetness on her
face.  "But they're a part of your life, Scully," he said, barely
above a whisper.  "Not in a way I'd have ever wanted for you, but they
are a part of you.  When you deny them that place in your life, you
deny a piece of yourself."

She was mesmerized by his soft tone, the steady caress of his fingers
on her cheek.  "But it hurts," she murmured.

He gathered her into his arms and held her tightly to his chest.  "I
know, Scully."

She wrapped her arms around him, her hands clutching at the muscles of
his back.  The soft cotton of his shirt soaked up her tears, and she
snuffled into it until her breathing was even once more.  She
tightened her arms briefly before releasing him and taking a half step
back to look up at him.

"Better now?" he asked, smoothing her hair back from the side of her
face.

She nodded.  "Better."  

"Will you go talk to your mother tomorrow?"

She tried to quell the sudden irritation and looked down at her feet.
"Mulder..."

He tilted her chin up with his index finger.  "Please, Scully?"  His
eyes pleaded with her.

She sighed in resignation.  He was right.  She knew it, but that
didn't mean she had to like it.  She closed her eyes and acquiesced.
"Yes, Mulder.  I'll go see her tomorrow."

"Scully, I-" he broke off, suddenly uncertain now that she agreed with
him.  He honestly thought she'd feel better once she'd seen her
mother, but his victory felt hollow.  He didn't want her to go just
because he thought she should.

"Mulder, it's ok.  You're right.  I've been avoiding her."  She heaved
a breath and wished the truth didn't have to be so painful.  "She
didn't think I could be a good mother to Emily, and she-"  Scully
looked up at him, wondering if she should tell him.  He waited
patiently for her to continue.  "Sometimes she resents how important
you've become to me."

"Maybe she's right to resent me.  I've caused a lot of pain to your
family."

"No, Mulder," she said firmly.  "I've made my own choices in this.
And I chose again last week."  She grasped his hand and squeezed.
"You are my life.  And nothing will ever change that."

He drew her into his arms again, hoping the cost of their decisions
wouldn't have to be paid in anyone else's blood.

********

Mulder tapped the steering wheel nervously.  He was parked outside
Maggie Scully's house, waiting for Scully to appear.  She'd told him
to pick her up at 11 o'clock, which gave them plenty of time to make
their flight.

They'd stayed together last night, then Mulder had driven Scully to
her mother's house early this morning, where he'd dropped her off with
a lingering kiss to see her through what would undoubtedly be a
painful conversation.  He'd had time to return to his apartment, pack
a bag, go for a run, take a shower, and putter uselessly around his
living room while waiting for it to be time to get Scully.

True, he'd pushed Scully into this, but now he was worried he'd been
wrong.  He and Scully had enough difficulty dealing with the insanity
their jobs brought them; how would someone like Maggie Scully handle
it?  Would she blame him?  Or worse, would she blame Scully?

He sat up straighter when he saw the front door open.  Scully walked
out, her head held high.  He could see her mother at the door, but she
neither waved nor smiled.  Things had not gone well, then.

He got out to open the door for Scully, and she smiled wearily at him,
grateful for this small act of caring.  He shut the door once she was
safely inside the car, and walked around to the driver's side.  He
paused at the door and looked toward the house.  Maggie Scully
continued to watch them without moving.  Then, finally, she nodded to
him.  He wasn't sure what it meant, but at least it was
acknowledgement, of a sorts.  He nodded back and climbed into the car.

Scully was staring out the window, but she turned to him readily when
he reached out to touch the back of her hand.

He questioned her with his eyes, and she leaned over to press her
cheek to his.  She kissed him lightly, then drew back.

"It'll be ok, Mulder.  She doesn't quite understand- any of it, but
she's still my mother.  And I'm the only daughter she has left."  She
dropped her eyes in remembrance of this old and familiar pain.

Mulder squeezed her hand, running his thumb over her knuckles.

"I wanted to thank you, Mulder."  She lifted her head to face him
again.  "For knowing what I needed."

The strain in her voice revealed how difficult this was to say.

"You would have figured it out eventually," he said.

"I know."  She smiled at him, and the tension eased.  "But thanks
anyway.  You were right."

Mulder feigned astonishment at this admission, and she slapped him
lightly on the arm.  "Don't worry, Scully," he said, grinning.  "I
won't let it go to my head."

She grabbed another quick kiss, then sat back to buckle her seat belt.
"Let's get a move on, Mulder; we've got a plane to catch."

********


end part 8/9 of Progeny
Missing chapters available at http://zephathah.tripod.com/

Please send feedback to zephathah@yahoo.com